Are you sure your words aren't damaging your child's psyche? As you read this, thousands of children are repeating the mantra "I'm a loser" after hearing it from their closest friends.
Dr. John Gottman , author of The Emotional Intelligence of the Child, stated, "Parental phrases are the blueprints that determine children's futures."
We've compiled the top 5 poisonous expressions that you use without even realizing it.
"You're a girl/boy!"
A phrase that, according to the American Psychological Association , increases the risk of depression in teens by 35%.
“When my dad said, ‘Men don’t cry,’ I realized that my feelings were trash,” 19-year-old Ilya wrote on the forum.
Psychologist Laura Davis points out: “Gender stereotypes deprive children of the right to be themselves.”
"Here I am at your age..."
A classic that makes teenagers want to escape to Mars.
A study in the Journal of Child Development (2023) found that comparing with parents reduces motivation by 50%.
"My mom is always bragging about her A's. I started lying about my grades so as not to disappoint her," admitted 14-year-old Yegor .
"Don't make things up!"
Creativity Killer. Neurobiologist Tatyana Chernigovskaya said in an interview with Forbes : “This phrase nip in the bud the ability to think outside the box.”
Example: 10-year-old Lisa stopped drawing after her father said, "Your monsters are crazy." She is now being treated for an anxiety disorder.
"You won't succeed"
Even said with the best of intentions, this phrase becomes a prophecy.
According to the University of Michigan , children who hear this are half as likely to try something new.
“I wanted to start a blog, but my mom said, ‘You can’t.’ Now I’m afraid to even change my hairstyle,” writes 18-year-old Anya .
The most dangerous phrase is "I don't love you"
Even said in jest, psychotherapist Phil McGraw warns: "Children believe every word you say. It's like driving a nail into the soul."
A story from single mother Olga : “After an argument, I shouted: ‘I don’t need you!’ My son left home and returned only three days later.”
Your words build their reality. Before you say anything, ask yourself, “Do I want this to be their inner voice?”
Author: Igor Zur