Parents are panicking: teenagers are hiding in headphones, being rude and living on social networks. But what if this is not a riot, but a cry for help?
Modern children are overloaded: school, tutors, peer pressure. Their brains simply can't process your lectures. So, parents, try to talk less.
Advice for parents
Instead of asking, "How are you?" or "What did you get?" ask, "What was the funniest thing you did today?" or "Why do you think the teacher gave you that grade?"
Teenagers appreciate being treated as equals rather than interrogated.
Another secret is to share your failures. Tell them how, when you were their age, you skipped classes or ruined your relationships with friends.
This will lower the barrier and show that mistakes are a part of life.
Aggression and isolation often mask fear. The teenager is afraid of not being understood, judged, or compared to others.
If he shouts, "Leave me alone!", answer, "I see you're angry. Let's discuss this later." Don't push - give him time. And never read his messages! Instead, say, "If something bothers you, I'm here. Even at night." Trust will gradually return.
Teenagers live in a world where “likes” determine self-esteem. Help them take their mind off things: organize a “phone-free day” with a hike in the forest or a quest around the city.
Ask, "What three things would you take to a desert island?" This will reveal their true interests.
If a teenager lies, don't blame them - look for the reason
Maybe he's afraid of your reaction? Say, "I won't fight, let's just solve the problem together." And keep your promise. When they realize that honesty is safe, the lying will decrease.
The difficult moment is studying. Instead of "You haven't done your homework again!" ask: "Do you need help?"
Suggest switching roles: let him explain the topic to you. This way you will test his knowledge and he will feel like an expert.
And most importantly, don’t discount their feelings.
The phrase "What problems could you possibly have!" kills trust. Instead, say, "Yes, it is difficult. How can I help?" Sometimes they just need to talk.
Author: Igor Zur
