Imagine your child is a book you're trying to read, but half the pages are stuck together and the font suddenly changes to an unfamiliar language.
Every day he comes home from school, throws his backpack in the corner and stares at his phone, answering questions in monosyllables.
You ask: "How are you?" - "Fine." "What happened at school?" - "Nothing." It seems like a dialogue from some sad play, where all the roles have long been learned by heart.

But what if behind this silence lies not just laziness or a bad mood, but a whole world where adults are not allowed to enter?
Children today live in a parallel reality. School for them is not just lessons and grades, but a complex cocktail of social interactions, anxieties and attempts to assert themselves.
They don’t talk about their problems not because they don’t trust, but because they themselves don’t always understand how to formulate them.
Modern teenagers rarely quarrel face to face, but they wage dozens of wars daily in messengers and social networks.
Their grievances and joys are hidden in memes, gifs and tracks that parents often consider “nonsense”.
But it is through this that they learn to express emotions, be friends, be enemies and love.
Try replacing formal questions with specific but unexpected ones.
Instead of "What grade did you get?" ask, "What's the weirdest word you heard today?" or "Who made everyone laugh in class today?"
Sometimes it's enough to show interest in small things for a child to start sharing important things. Another key is to stop being afraid of awkward topics.
Today's 10-year-old children know more about cyberbullying and depression than their 30-year-old parents.
Starting a conversation about how to deal with anxiety or why some classmates act aggressively won't scare them off, but will instead show that you're willing to talk on equal terms.
But the most important thing is to stop thinking that you have to control everything. Children are silent not because they are afraid of punishment, but because they feel that any word they say will be immediately “corrected” by adult logic.
They want to be listened to without immediate advice, judgment, or attempts to "solve the problem."
Sometimes they just need you to say, "Yeah, that's really hurtful. Tell me more."