A mini-drama unfolds on the playground: three-year-old Vanya is clutching a brightly colored truck tightly in his hands, and a neighbor boy is pulling him towards himself, shouting: “Give it to me!”
Parents are confused - how to explain to children where the line is between "mine" and "yours"? Should they be forced to share? And what to do if a child brings home someone else's toy?
Children's things are part of their personality
For a child under five, his toys are not just objects. They become an extension of his world, a part of himself.
An attempt to take away a car or a doll is perceived as an invasion of personal space. Even if parents think that the thing is outdated or broken, the child can fiercely defend it.
It is important to remember: this is not a whim, but a natural stage of development.
Learning to distinguish boundaries
The child's world is filled with mysteries: why can't you take a candy from someone else's bag or take a toy you like from a guest?
The parents' task is to calmly and patiently explain the difference between "theirs", "common" and "someone else's". For example, on a walk you can suggest: "Let's ask the girl if she will let us look at the teddy bear? And we will show her your car."
By repeating these rules day after day, children gradually learn to respect other people's boundaries.
Sharing is not a duty
The debate about whether to force a child to share continues. Psychologists warn that forcing generosity can have the opposite effect.
Instead of demanding "Give it back!" it's better to discuss the situation: "Do you like playing with this boy? Maybe you could offer him another toy?"
If the baby categorically refuses, that is his right. The ability to share is formed through desire, not through fear or shame.
When a child takes something that belongs to someone else
The situation when a child suddenly finds a strange thing in his pocket is familiar to many. The reasons may be different: from a momentary desire to an attempt to attract attention.
Instead of reproaching, ask: "Why did you decide to take this car?" Explain that even if you really want it, you need to ask permission. Offer to return the toy together - this will help you understand the consequences of your actions.
Author: Elena Shimanovskaya