Imagine: your son, whom you raised and protected, now wakes up every morning next to another woman.
His decisions, plans, even habits gradually change - and you feel the distance between you growing. Instead of pride for his adult life, you are consumed by anxiety, and meetings with your son's family leave you with bitterness. Sound familiar? You are not alone.
Jealousy towards a daughter-in-law is rarely connected with the girl herself. More often, it is the fear of losing the role of the main woman in the son's life, concern about his future or unwillingness to let him go into adulthood.
What to do when emotions get the better of you
Admit that your son has grown up. He no longer needs constant care. His choice of a life partner is not a mistake, but a step towards independence. Even if your daughter-in-law seems unsuitable to you, criticism will only push your son away.
Change your focus. Instead of analyzing every word your daughter-in-law says, do something that brings you joy: travel, creativity, socializing with friends. New hobbies will help you stop living as someone else's family.
Talk about your feelings, but don’t be judgmental. Tell your son, “I miss our conversations, but I’m glad you’re doing well.” This will ease the tension and show that you’re willing to respect his boundaries.
Don't compare yourself to your daughter-in-law. You are a mother, and she is a wife. These roles do not compete, but complement each other. Ask yourself: what is more important - to prove your son that you are right or to maintain a trusting relationship with him?
Look for common ground. Invite your daughter-in-law for tea, ask about her hobbies, offer help without being pushy. Sometimes a couple of neutral topics for dialogue are enough to replace hostility with tolerance.
Remember: your life is not over. Your son has started his own family - this is a reason to rethink your own goals. Have you dreamed of learning to dance? Mastering a new profession? Now is the perfect time.
Children grow up. It is painful, but inevitable. However, mother's love is not a chain, but wings.
The more freedom you give your son, the more often he will return to you - no longer as a "savior", but as a reliable friend. And then there will be room only for warmth in your relationship - without jealousy and resentment.
Author: Elena Shimanovskaya