It is difficult to draw conclusions and make predictions if you do not know the person at all. Alas, this happens even in personal relationships, when it seems that you know your partner well.
If you don't know your chosen one, how can you understand him?
That is why psychologists recommend not only working on your relationship, but also checking how well you know, and therefore feel, each other.
How to do this? It is enough to answer four questions.
Question one: do you see a person or patterns?
When two people have known each other for a long time, their behavior is easy to predict due to habits and other patterns. Psychologists call this a "pattern."
It is precisely these patterns that prevent you from seeing the multifaceted personal qualities of your chosen one.
Try to notice pleasant changes in your partner, look for something new, something you haven’t noticed before.
Question two: are you communicating or guessing?
By force of habit, one can predict how a person will react to what he hears.
But in reality, these are just predictions and guesses, not full answers and your partner’s opinion.
Because you build relationships on guesswork, your chosen one’s self-esteem decreases, and his thoughts and emotions lose meaning.
Question three: what do you expect from your partner?
Demands, requests and expectations must be realistic.
If your expectations are not met, disappointment is inevitable.
But no one said that your man or woman will always live up to your expectations.
Question four: is there a riddle?
The more we get to know a person, the less simple he begins to seem.
Gradually, what used to captivate and excite becomes habitual.
Thus, the relationship becomes habitual and turns into a quiet, but very swampy swamp.
In other words, you need a spark, intrigue, to remain interesting and attractive to each other.
Therefore, harmonious relationships can be called those in which partners constantly discover something new in each other.
Author: Igor Zur