It would seem that success is something that everyone strives for. But why does it become not a triumph, but a nightmare for many?
Fear of success is often hidden behind rational excuses: “I’m not ready,” “It’s not my time,” “It’s better not to take risks.” But the roots of the problem are deeper than it seems.
Let's take the story of Igor, an IT specialist from Moscow. In 2023, he turned down the team lead position, although his skills met the requirements.
“I imagined colleagues whispering behind his back: ‘He thinks he’s a genius,’” he explained in a Medium blog post.
This is a classic example of the "crab in a bucket effect": when a group unknowingly sabotages each other's growth in order to maintain the familiar hierarchy.
But there are also more personal reasons. For example, people who grew up in families where achievement was ridiculed ("Keep your head down!") unconsciously associate success with danger.
Their brain perceives praise as a signal: “Now they expect more from you – what if you can’t cope?”
This is how a cycle of self-limitation is born: failure seems less painful than the pressure of expectations.
How to break this pattern? One method is “pre-commitment.”
For example, publicly announce your plans on social media or to colleagues. The fear of “losing face” in case of refusal is often stronger than the fear of success.
Another secret is to stop idealizing success. We often imagine it as a final point: “Once I reach my goal, I’ll live a peaceful life.” But in reality, reaching one peak opens up new challenges.
Instead of being afraid of it, try the technique of "micro-successes". Start with small steps that are not scary. Each such action reprograms the brain: success stops being a "monster" and becomes a familiar part of life.
But what if the fear is related to a past experience? Let's say you were ridiculed at school for winning an Olympiad or ignored when you tried to stand out.
Psychologists advise “rewriting the script.”
Imagine your success is a movie where you are the director. What plot twist would make the story inspiring? Maybe your colleagues were not jealous, but happy for you? Or your family supported you instead of criticizing you? Such exercises reduce anxiety because they give the brain an alternative “version of reality.”
And remember: fear of success is not a flaw, but a defense mechanism. It once helped you avoid risks, but now it prevents you from growing. Ask yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen if I achieve my goal?” Most often, the answers are absurd (“Everyone will hate me”), and this is already a reason to doubt their truthfulness.
Author: Elena Shimanovskaya