You set goals, make plans, promise yourself to “start on Monday,” but it all ends with you putting it off again, breaking down, or saying, “Not now, later.”
It seems as if there is a saboteur living inside you who whispers: “Don’t interfere, it will only get worse,” and you involuntarily obey him.
But what if this “saboteur” is not an enemy, but a part of your psyche that is trying to protect you... from yourself?
We are talking again about psychological attitudes - invisible “rules of life” that dictate how to think, what to feel and when to stop.
These settings are like the blueprints from which the house of your personality is built.
If they are told that “there will be a wall here,” you won’t even try to walk through it, even though you’ve long dreamed of what’s behind it.
For example, if you were taught as a child that “dreaming is bad for you,” you may unconsciously avoid ambitious goals, choose “proven” paths, and ignore opportunities that seem too good.
But the strangest thing is: even when you understand that attitudes are interfering, it is not easy to get rid of them. Why?
Because your brain perceives them as part of your safety. Better to suffer with familiarity than to risk the unknown, that's its logic.
How does it work in reality? Let's say you want to change your profession. On the surface, everything is in order: there are skills, vacancies, support.
But inside a wave of anxiety rises: “What if it doesn’t work out?”, “What will people say?”, “I’m too old for this.”
These thoughts are not your wisdom, but signals of attitudes that scream: "Stop! Danger!" They start a chain reaction: fear - avoidance - disappointment in yourself - confirmation of the attitude ("Yes, I am not capable of change"). And so on in a circle.
But there is a way to break this cycle. Start by asking yourself, "What is this mindset serving?"
For example, the fear of failure can “protect” from disappointment, and the belief “I am not worthy” can “protect” from the risk of rejection.
Once you realize the hidden benefit, you will stop fighting with yourself and start negotiating.
Try mentally thanking the installation: “Thank you for trying to protect me, but now I choose differently.” This will reduce internal resistance.
The next step is to create an "antidote." If the mindset says, "You have no talent," find examples of when you learned something despite initial failures.
If the voice is "You don't deserve better," think about times when you got what you wanted simply because you asked.
Such "evidence" gradually undermines old beliefs.
It is important not to demand instant changes from yourself. Change your settings as you review your wardrobe: leave something for later, try something on, throw something away without regret.
And remember: even if you've lived with the thought "I can't do it" for years, it doesn't mean it's true.
You just haven't collected enough facts to refute it yet.
The world will not change until you change the "lenses" through which you view it.
And when you decide that old attitudes are no longer needed, something amazing will happen: problems that seemed unsolvable will begin to find answers, and fears will turn into curiosity.
After all, we are often afraid not of reality, but of the walls that we ourselves once built.
Author: Igor Zur