In 2022, Harvard Business Review revealed a shocking statistic: 92% of people fail to achieve their goals because they skip a step that Elon Musk calls “resetting the matrix.”
Coach Tony Robbins told Forbes: “Goals are garbage. The secret is in how you package them.”
We are talking about the "3D rule": Distort, Destroy, Delight. What is it and why do motivational gurus hide it?
A Stanford study found that our brains sabotage goals that sound like "I want to be better."
Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman explains: "Abstractions don't activate the prefrontal cortex. You need destructive verbs." For example, instead of "lose 10 kg" - "break the couch I'm sitting on."
It sounds crazy, but an experiment from the University of Toronto proved that participants with “aggressive” wording achieved their goals 3 times more often.
Elon Musk's example confirms this. In 2008, when SpaceX was on the verge of collapse, he set a goal: "Blow up the rocket to save the company."
The talk was about a Falcon 1 test launch that attracted investors despite the explosion. “If your goal isn’t scary, you’re not dreaming, you’re complaining,” Musk said in Ashlee Vance’s biography.
Why 99% of People Fail
Psychologist Jordan Peterson writes in his book 12 Rules for Life: “They choose goals that their mother will approve of, not those that will cause a storm in their soul.”
The story of Sophia Amaruah, an immigrant from Ghana, became an example: instead of “finding a stable job,” she set a goal “to humiliate everyone who laughed at my accent.” Five years later, Sophia is the owner of a chain of restaurants in New York.
The danger of excessive cruelty
Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb warns: “If the goal is based on revenge, success will not bring happiness.”
Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard suggests adding a "fun bonus" to each goal, such as "breaking a couch and buying a plane ticket to Tokyo."
What happens if you start today
In 2023, blogger David Goggins launched the Killer Goal Challenge: 2,000 participants reformulated their dreams in an aggressive form. 48% achieved what they wanted, but 12% ended up in therapy due to burnout.
Your goals are not a plan, they are weapons. Who will you aim your sights at?
Author: Igor Zur