Do you wake up thinking, “I’m not good enough”? Congratulations – your brain is playing tricks on you.
Scientists have spent decades studying why smart, talented people stagnate for years, while those who are “worse” reach the top.
Laziness or fatal bad luck?
It turned out that it was not a matter of laziness or fate, but of an invisible filter that distorts reality.
This filter is self-esteem. But here's the paradox: it is rarely connected to real skills.
For example, 40% of people who consider themselves losers are objectively successful. How so?
It's simple: the brain compares you not to others, but to a fictitious "ideal" that is impossible to achieve. But there is a way to cheat the system.
Try the "mirror method"
Every day, ask yourself three questions that will reprogram your perception.
Don't wait for motivation - it will come later. At first, there will only be actions similar to playing blindfold chess. But after a month, you will notice how old fears lose their power, and the inner critic becomes silent.
And yes, you don't have to be the "best version of yourself" - you just have to stop believing that such a version even exists.
The "Mirror Method" is not magic, but neurobiology. Every morning, looking at your reflection, ask:
- "What will I do today for myself, not for the approval of others?"
- "What small victory will make me proud tonight?"
- "What am I forgiving myself for right now?"
The first question breaks the pattern of dependence on external evaluation. For example, instead of "finishing a project to get praise from your boss," you choose "going for a walk during lunch to stretch my back."
The second question shifts the focus from big goals (“become a millionaire”) to micro-successes (“write 100 words for a book”).
The third is the most important. We accumulate guilt for our mistakes, like a junkman, and then wonder why we have no strength. Forgiveness is not weakness, but a reboot.
But why does the brain cling so stubbornly to low self-esteem?
It's simple: it's a defense mechanism. If you think you're "not good enough," you won't have to take risks and fail.
It is better to sit in a cage than to fall while trying to fly. But there is a way out – “failure vaccination”. Start consciously doing what you are “bad” at: sing karaoke if you are embarrassed by your voice; publish a post, even if it seems stupid.
Every small "failure" will reduce your fear of big ones. In a month, you will understand that the world has not collapsed, and your self-esteem has begun to grow - simply because you have stopped feeding your inner critic.
The irony is that high self-esteem is also a trap.
Those who think they are “better than others” often sabotage growth - why change if I am already perfect?
The secret is balance: accept yourself now, but believe that tomorrow you can become different. Imagine that you are a river. The water flows, the shape of the banks changes, but the essence remains.
Stop clinging to “I am my achievements” or “I am my failures.” You are the process. And every day you have the right to choose where to flow.
Author: Igor Zur